This is in mockery to the horrible fanfictions I’ve had to read or beta or critique.
a long time ago in a galixy far far away…
BOOM!!!
‘oh no R2 my ships been hit!” luke distressed as the wing of his x-wing was blown off by an intensive force of wind suddenly appeared in outter space. his ship spun wildly and crashed into a nearby planet.
it broke. luke was knoked unconshis and lay on the ground almost dead. r2 had gotten blown up so he couldn’t save luke from being left on thr ground very dead looking.
fortunately a girl came by and shook luke awake.
luke growned. ‘ohhhhhhhhhhhhh my head…’ ’shh’ she said and pattered his head. ‘you’ll be ok’
so she picked luke up and brought him to a nearby settlement, which was actually rivendell from lord of the rings and Elrond took care of luke and made him better, but luke’s arm got torn off and he was left with only one arm and glorfindel stole his lightsaber and got blown up when he tried to activate it and thats why arwen had to save frodo from the ringwraths.
later on luke found out it was elrong’s other daughter that had saved his life and he fell in love with her becuase she was not only very very pretty but brave and had saved him from his ship burning him up after it had fallen to pieces in the atmosphere but he was very sad because r2d2 was now dead and couldnt’ be fixed with middle earht’s lack of technologys.
so luke was abandoned on middle earth and had to later on marry the girl because he needed to be married or elrond threatend to kick him out of rivendell because he had gotten better now.
so he got marred to her because she was pretty and looked just like taller version of carrie fisher with bigger boobs and pointy ears and they had lots of kids and one of them was actually farimir and they replaced him in gondor as a spy for the elves. later luke made a new lightsaber and gandalf teleported them back to coruscant where luke and his wife faced down the emperor.
‘MUHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!’ the emperor crowed as he took elissia hostage. elissia was lukes wife.
‘NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!” luke wailed! he used force lightning to kill the emperor and force protect to keep his wife safe and the emperor fell over dead.
vader tried to stab elissia but she drew her bow and shot him in the butt. stupid vader fell over in pain and luke and elissia kissed for a very long time. then they killed vader because he was ugly and slowly destoryed the empire so that they could make a peaceful galaxy.
later luke rebuilt r2 and every1 was happy.
